My heat is broken and I am stuck awake

It is 11:12pm and I am awake. I WANT to be asleep, since I have class tomorrow afternoon, but that is not in my cards right now.

All day I thought it was kinda cold in the house. I had the thermostat set to 79 at one point to get the house warmer. No bueno. To be considered an emergency, the temp in your house has to be under 70 degrees.

I called Shawn, who is on 24 hour duty, and told him I think the heat is broken. He tells me to call Maintenance and tell them to come out and fix it.

“It isn’t under 70 in here. They won’t come out.”

“Well, then tell them it IS under 70”

*FACEPALM*

I call and when I was listening to it ring on the other end I looked at the thermostat and it went from 70 to 68 right before my eyes! I wouldn’t be lying!

The on-call guy calls me back and says he would be here within the next 2 hours. 2 HOURS! WTF! It is almost midnight and I have class in the morning! I am so peeved off right now I can’t see straight.

Wait, that could be because I am EXHAUSTED!

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Studying? Yeah right

My kids have NO idea that I am trying to better THEIR future by bettering mine. I don’t think they really care as long as they are able to exercise their lungs. I think my kids hate me.

I pull out my books and papers to start studying and the SECOND my book hits the table the pushing, screaming, tattling, and “I’m hungries” all start.

I DID get a made from scratch cherry pie in the oven. I also busted my lip.

The day has been somewhat productive.

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First day of class

Yesterday was an interesting day. It started out with some NASTY snow and a phone call from my sister saying that she is hoping the roads on base don’t go black (meaning illegal to drive on) while she is watching the kids. If they did, she would be stuck here until they are good again. In all my infinite wisdom, I told her “The roads don’t go black over 1-3 inches of snow”, while rolling my eyes on the other end.

I was almost wrong. ALMOST. The snow was coming down so thick I was starting to wonder the integrity of the roads myself. At 12:30pm, I got in my van and started my trek to my first day of school in over 14 years.

I saw 3 accidents in just the (normally) 5 minute drive (it took 25 minutes). I ALMOST turned around and went home, but by the time I sludged through the parking lot at the library, the snow had tapered off to almost nothing.

When I walked into class there were only 3 other people there. They were already working on their assignments as I walked over to the teacher (Jessica). True to form, she didn’t have my stupid folder with all the crap I worked on at my GED assessment/orientation. I had called 2 WEEKS ago to set up classes (that were canceled last week). She had NOTHING. SO, for the first 30 minutes she was busy printing out everything I was going to need to work on. I sat there like a lump on a log yawning and trying not to fall asleep, since I wasn’t allowed to bring in my coffee. Just as I was about to pass out, she came over and went over my assignments.

I only have to work on a few things in Math to get test ready. Long division, Algebra, Geometry/Spacial Sense, Fraction (this will be my death. Quote me now), Decimals, Integers (WHAT on earth are integers, anyways?), Percentages (just brush up a little), and division of fractions and decimals.

Just shoot me now and get it over with! I am ready to slam my face into a hard surface.

Time to study! It is a snow day, so the boys will be getting enough TV time to turn them into zombies. I will be hitting the books and TRYING (key word) to burn this crap into my brain cells. I think they are allergic to math.

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There is a reason people go to school before having kids

OMG! I NOW understand why. They do NOT understand that you need quiet to study.

Screaming, crying, and blatant belligerence is annoying on normal days, and VERY unwelcome when you are trying to teach yourself something that is like a foreign language. Shawn is helping by trying to keep the boys occupied, but for some reason Camryn is bursting out in tears if Shawn breathes funny. That boy is hormonal and he is only 6!

Ducky is at the tail-end of a nasty little virus and extra whiny. Holdyn isn’t helping Ducky by taking his toys. An all out screaming and hitting match then ensues and my brain loses every last bit of knowledge it once had. My sanity also goes bye-bye.

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Long term goals

Just to get them in writing, here are a few of my longer term goals.

1. To achieve my BA in English.
2. To freelance (may even be considered a short term goal) with writing for online groups
3. I WILL be a journalist one day. Be it in photography or with the written word, it WILL be my career one day.
4. To have a career that can travel with me and enable me to work at home and be my own boss.

5. Obtain my Mater’s in English. I may be 90 or close to it, but it WILL be in my hand when I leave this earth. I will NOT leave here without it in my fist!

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Short term goals

I have a few short term goals that I have set for myself. In my mind, short term means within the next 2 years.

1. Go to my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays
2. Pass the official GED test on April 15/16th.
3. Research and narrow down the best school suited for me to pursue my BA in English
4. Apply to attend school of my choice
5. Apply for financial aide at the school I choose
6. Save up money in case I don’t qualify
7. Start school by Spring semester

If anyone has any ideas on the best schools for attaining a BA in English and/or Creative Writing let me know in the comments. I am at such a loss as to where to begin the research.

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Broadening my horizons

School.  A very important daily activity for young children.

I used to love school when I was in it.  I grew up (and started high school) in Southeast Central Florida, where the standards of education suck (for lack of a better way to describe it).  I was an A+ student in the south, and I mastered the English language and reading at such a young age.  I thrived off of knowledge.  It was my drug of choice.  It was my best friend, lover.

When I was 15, I moved up to Vermont.  That move was the single worst thing for my education, yet the single best thing as well.  Moving 2100 miles from the way I learned how to learn, screwed me up not only mentally but emotionally as well.  The standards were so much higher that I got up there with “gifted” status, yet I was only at a 7th grade level.  I was in the 10th grade, but I looked as if I was only starting 7th in Math and Science.

Long story cut WAY in half, I was 16 when I dropped out.  I didn’t technically drop out completely.  I would go to school every morning to attend my first class.  It was “Perspectives of English and History”.  Those were my 2 favorite subjects.  For almost an entire year, I would show up ONLY for that class, until they finally caught on and I dropped out officially.

For many years after that I wanted to get my GED.  When I was 18, I started working as a Pharmacy Technician and didn’t have the time to study or work towards my GED.  I was fine with that.  When I left that job (at 22ish) I got a job making $14 an hour just being a cashier at a Mobil station.  This is when I became pregnant with my twin sons.  I had no time, once again.  Attaining my GED wasn’t even on my radar any longer.  My main focus was being a single mother to twins, while working full time to support them.  I was “too good” to go on assistance (except childcare subsidy).

When I finally got into a good routine with the boys, I started contemplating my GED again.  I was still young (23), the boys were in an awesome daycare, and I had a little extra money to put towards the test.  At 4 months, my son, Logan, passed away from the flu.  I dropped all plans like a hot iron had touched my skin and went into a funk that took a few years to overcome.

When I was 26 I started researching GED requirements for the state of Vermont.  They had changed things from the last time I had looked into it.  The price had gone up substantially, and you were now required to take classes geared towards the test.  You couldn’t just show up anymore and take it.  I was still a single working mother, making much less than before, and I didn’t have the time or money to devote to my quest.  My first priority was to make sure my child had food, clothes and a roof over his head, not my education.  I didn’t think about my GED for 3 more years.

I am now 29, married to an active duty soldier, staying at home with 3 boys.  My oldest is now in 1st grade and asking me to help with homework.  I sat down with him a while back and was confused by his math work.  FIRST GRADE!  How on earth did I forget how to do BASIC math?  The first thought through my head was “You REALLY need to get back to school and become a better example to your children!”

So, here I am.  Blogging about my journey from a high school drop out to a good example for my children.

I am now living in New York.  The testing process is about the same as Vermont.  I am required to put at LEAST 30 hours in of class time before I am even allowed to take the official test, BUT I don’t have to pay.  It is completely free.  I now have the extra time to put in.  It may cut into my time socializing on the internet with my “online BFF’s”, but I’ll take an inactive social life over being a drop out the rest of my life.

Wish me luck.

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